Apologies From a Pediatrician

This entry is dedicated to all the parents of patients that I saw in residency.  I apologize for making parenthood sound easier than it really is.  

When I told you, "You have to just leave them in bed; they are going to cry, but you have to be strong-"  It is not that easy listening to your five month old cry for almost two hours.  

When I said, "You should try breastfeeding-" It is not always that easy as I have learned.  Never again will I judge someone for not breastfeeding.  People always said, "Breastfeeding is tough, " and I thought, "People have been breastfeeding since the beginning of time.  How could it be that difficult.  I think you are making it harder than it really is."  Well now I know, it is not always that easy.  

When I chided, "You have to sleep when baby sleeps-" I didn't realize that that may be the only time of day you have to take a shower or just sit.

When I thought to myself, "What exactly do stay-at-home Moms do during the day?  How hard can it be?  I work 80 hours in a week.  It's not that big of a deal-"  Boy was I wrong about this one.  I have definitely learned that it is not that easy.  It is a lot of work and you never get to leave you job, but it can also be very isolating when your only social interaction in a day is your slobbering baby and Matt, Meredith, Al, and Ann.  

When I said, "You just need to get out more.  That will make you feel better-"  whereas it may make you feel better, when you are still recovering from your postpartum hormone craziness, and you haven't the slightest idea about what to do with a baby at the grocery store, it is not that easy.

So again I apologize to anyone I may have casually given parenting tips to when I had no idea what I was talking about.  I understand now why you looked at me with the eyes of a frazzled, beaten down soldier losing the battle.  I apologize for sending you out the door without letting you know that it will be difficult, and that at times that you will want to throw the towel in, but not to give up because you can make it through.   Not that any of my patients' parents will ever read this blog (not that anyone ever reads this blog), but if you are out there, know that I am sorry.  I may still give the same advice, but there will be a lot more empathy behind my words now.  And know that while I have a lot more to learn, I am definitely a better, more understanding pediatrician through my experiences thus far.  If I have learned nothing else, I know that it is not always that easy!